Fire Blood
by sentinel10
Summary: I think I use to be a good girl, but I don't know anymore. I mean - how can all this hatred, this fierce disgust, this bile, live inside me for so long. Maybe it was just hidden. Tucked safely away inside myself until I couldn't hold on to it any longer


**I do not own Twilight**

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_Easy for a good girl to go bad_  
_And once we gone, gone_  
_There's belief, we've gone forever_

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**~FIRE BLOOD~**

I think I _use_ to be a good girl.

A good little girl, with purple ribbons in my black hair, that danced in the woods and sung to the small animals that followed the rest of the heard blissfully and willingly. I didn't really play well with other children on the reservation but that didn't necessarily upset me.

I guess I have always been a loner. It's easier when you're alone. There is no one to let down, no one to please, no one to take what dreams you have and crush them against the pavement like they mean nothing.

I would sometimes make believe that I was a fairy princess in the forest who was fighting against evil monsters who were trying to destroy all the little woodland creatures in my kingdom. The forest was my kingdom and even though my daddy would tell me not to play there by myself, I always found myself wondering out to the wooded tree line in our back yard and toying with the idea of maybe if I was quick he wouldn't be able to notice I was gone.

After I got lost in the woods one day, Anna Call found me down by the stream and took me home. My mother and father were crying and fussing over me once I was securely in their arms again.

~xxxxx~

"Leah Clearwater, you are in big trouble young lady" My mother cried hugging me to her chest.

My father quickly pulled me from my mother to look over me for any injuries. "Are you okay? Your not hurt?" My father asked in a panic stricken state.

"No daddy I am fine, I just got lost until Ms Call found me and brought me home" I replied twiddling my thumbs.

"Baby" My father said taking my face in his large hands. "Don't ever go into the woods by yourself. There are bad people who will take you away from us. You will never see Mummy or Daddy or Seth again. Now promise me that you won't wander off this instant" I nodded and my father pulled me into a bear hug and stroked my hair. "I would die if anything ever happened to you princess. You are daddy's miracle, okay?" He said taking my face again and kissing my forehead.

~xxxxx~

I think back and think maybe I was just an innocent child denying the fact that there were indeed those out to hurt us the most. They always used to say keep your friends closer, but your enemies closer. But how do you know which is which, when the line blurs, and those that you once would have taken a bullet gladly for are the ones holding the trigger? - Truth is, you don't know. And you won't. Until it happens.

I had met Sam at Quileute Tribal School. He was popular, handsome, and nice and for some reason liked me. At first I tried to evade his forwardness with humour, constantly refusing his requests for a date, with a smug reply, commenting on his not so great dating record, but his oh so high bedroom record. You all have to know that in the beginning there was something inside me that warned me against Sam. I could never put my finger on it, but it was always there. A small side glance, a breath taking smile, it felt like it was all, somewhat, not real.

~xxxxx~

"Hi Leah" I heard a deep voice say from behind me. I turned around to see the breath taking handsome Samuel Uley standing there leaning against the lockers watching me put my stuff into mine.

"Hey Sam" I said rolling my eyes, waiting for no doubt the question he was going to ask. He would ask everyday without fail.

"So... I was wondering-"

"Sam, how many times do I have to give an answer to a question you ask everyday" I said with a smirk, stuffing my extremely heavy maths book into the locker and pulling out Mr. Goby's science notes.

"As long as it takes" He said leaning down closer to me.

"As long as it takes for what?" I asked frowning at him as he let out an earth shattering smile that made my knees go weak.

"As long as it takes for you to say yes" He said winking and walking down to hallway to his next class.

~xxxxx~

After I gave in and went on an actual date with him, he surprised me - go figure. He took me to the carnival in Forks. It was September and the weather was so damp and glum, but when he would intertwine his hands with mine and squeeze it assumingly, I felt something. Something deep that doesn't normally happen to a girl like me. Sam thought it was the Ferris Wheel that made me squirm but it was the way he looked at me. Like he saw straight through the wall of ignorance i had built around myself, through the cold hearted stares, and even the willingness to never go down without a fight.

~xxxxx~

"I see you Lee-Lee" He said tucking me safely under his arms and pulling me close. Sam had some kind of a warmth that could defrost me even on the coldest days.

"No shit sherlock, I am right here" I chuckled looking up at him.

Sam shook his head and cupped my face, making me stare right into his eyes. "No Lee. I _see _you" And with that Sam gave me my first kiss.

~xxxxx~

I can't lie and say that Sam didn't change me because he did. He made me finally happy that I didn't want to close myself off from the world anymore. I wanted friends, I wanted my family and most of all I wanted him. The Sam behind closed doors was nothing like the Sam his friends knew. He was sweet, funny, gentle and kissed like nothing I had ever experienced. I thought that Sam would be my first and my last. I loved him, I really did, and I wanted to believe that we would be together forever.

It wasn't easy being with Sam, but I fought for him. The rumours about him and his father were horrible, and every time I would over hear people snickering and making comments I would hug him and tell him that I loved him and that he was nothing like his father, that he was a good, kind hearted spirit that would never do anything to hurt anyone. I know Sam appreciated the gesture but sometimes he would stare at me blankly and tell me that sometimes you can't escape your destiny and that some things are born inside of you.

It wasn't until a year after high school that my cousin Emily came down for the summer, having planned out our 'ultimate last stand' for college in the spring. Emily was always my shoulder and support beam to go to. She was my emotional rock and helped me through a lot of tough times in my life, like what to say to boys, how to braid hair, how to apply makeup and even how to bake. She was like the sister I never had.

A week of Emily staying with us, Sam came to visit fresh from his camping trip with his friends. I didn't know it then like I know now, but it would be the worst cut I would ever feel in my life time. The moment Sam and Emily's eyes meet, I didn't exist. I was nothing. I had been replaced by my best friend, my sister. The way Sam's eyes glazed over when he looked at her made me want to puke my guts out. My heart twisted in my chest and I tried to ignore the flashing lights in my head trying to tell me something was wrong, but of course I loved Sam and he loved me - Or so I thought.

One day after getting my hair trimmed I decided to stop by Sam's house to see if he wanted to go to the beach later on. I should have never have gone there. The moment I opened the door I felt like I had stopped breathing. They were both all over each other, touching and caressing like they had been in love for years. I could hear Sam groaning out Emily's name as she kissed his chest. They were that wrapped up in each other on the sofa it wasn't until I let out a sob that they froze. They looked at me with pity in their eyes while mine were empty. How can someone who had told me every day for the last 3 years that they loved me, be fucking my cousin on their couch.

I think I felt the exact moment when my heart shattered and scathed into a million pieces inside my chest. Someone had punched their fist right through me and taken my heart and thrown it away. I didn't hear them calling out to me because I wasn't there anymore. I was physically there but emotionally I was a train wreck. I shook my head and closed the door softly and walked away from Sam's house.

I don't know how long I cried for. Maybe a week, maybe a month, I wasn't sure, time didn't mean anything to me anymore. I barely ate and I barely left my house. I knew my parents were worried but I couldn't seem to care. I locked myself away from the world and hastily built all my walls back up again. Instead of letting my anger out on everyone, I didn't say anything. I didn't speak to anyone. If someone asked me a question I would simply nod or shake my head. Truth is I didn't want to talk. Why should I? I had nothing to say to anyone.

~xxxxx~

"Leah?" Seth said softly knocking on the door and sticking his head in. "I brought you something"

I felt him move inside the room and lay a tray down on the bed. I just curled myself tighter around my pillow and continued to stare out the window.

He came around to the side of the bed and squatted in front of me so I had to look at him. He whimpered softly and stroked my hair. "It's going to be okay Leah. Things will get better, you'll see" He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before he exited the room to leave me on my own.

~xxxxx~

Seth being the good little brother type tried to help me and get me to talk to him but i would just sit on my bed and stare at him. You all have to understand, I couldn't feel. Not one tiny thing. I tried to feel something, anything, but all i could feel was the emptiness that Sam had left behind. I had trusted him and he betrayed me. Was I that terrible or disgusting that I could just be forgotten and tossed to the side like a rag doll?

I soon became desperate and needed an escape. I would hang out in front of the library in the middle of the night waiting for something to happen. Sometimes I would buy a packet of smokes and sit on the steps and smoke each and every one of them just waiting for something, trying to feel again. When nothing did happen I soon took books with me and sat under the dim street light and read, sometimes for hours.

I would read great novels and stories of how the characters felt. Their loves, their pains, there all consuming feelings, trying to make myself care and I dare to say hope. But nothing ever happened.

When I finished the books I would use my lighter and burn each and every page, watching it curl under the flame and burning the ink and immortalised words.

~xxxxx~

"Leah you know you shouldn't be out here late at night. You don't know what kind of people wait out here for young women to pray on, there are some real sicko's around" The Police Chief said as he put the car into park outside my parents house.

I went to open the cruiser door before he placed a hand on my shoulder which made me flinch.

Charlie panicked and pulled his hand away. "Sorry - I - Uh - I just want you to know your hurting your parents by doing these things Leah. They understand you are hurting but you are leaving yourself open to be attacked. They are afraid one day you wont come home and the next time they see you you'll be in a body bag."

I nodded so I could get inside and away from him.

"Just think about it Leah" He sighed waving me off.

~xxxxx~

No one ever knew where I went and more often than not I would find myself riding in Police Chief Swans car back to my house. Mum and Dad had obviously called him and asked him to find me, so it became more like a routine until I got sick of the pitiful stares and advice Charlie Swan would give me about being a good girl and not to hurt my parents like I had been doing. - Like I cared, I didn't care about anything.

I decided to change my routine and pick different spots to hang out at. One night it would be outside the school, another it would be down by forks pancake house and so on. I knew people where talking about me when they walked past. They mostly just left me alone, which I liked.

I hadn't noticed when the world didn't stop and kept on spinning without me. All I did was watch and listen to people, spewing out there ridiculous shit about how they were finally happy and that they were in love. Ha! I detest the word, the meaning and the mere thought of it. Love _doesn't _exist anymore. It's bullshit, like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and God. Love can't save you; love can't protect you from monsters. Love only leaves bloody messy scars behind. Its scent poisons the very essence of everything worth fighting for in this world. Love may build bridges, but hate keeps those bridges strong.

I hated them so much. I could barely keep my eyes waterless when I thought about them. Sam- Sam was my hero, my love, my everything. Emily was my cousin, my sister, my confidant. I was sick and tired of knowing that they now had each other while I had no one. I was alone, so fucking alone, every breathe hurt, every small thing I would notice. The way the sun set in a particular direction, the way its hues where cast over the old brick buildings as it descended in the sky, like my life, exactly like my life. I was like a sunset with no sunrise.

~xxxxx~

"Leah, please open the door, I need to talk to you" Emily cried from behind the locked door.

I frowned at the door and went back to lying face down on my bed, trying to block her out.

"Leah, I am sorry, please" She whined, making me flinch. I hated her stupid voice, I just wanted her to shut up and piss off.

"Okay then Leah. I'll come back tommorrow. I love you" She whisphered before she let out another undeserved sob.

~xxxxx~

Emily had the audacity to come around every day to speak to my parents to see how I was, she would often knock at my door and apologise and cry. The saltiness of her tears left traces outside my door. They scattered the hall way like some kind of a sick marking ceremony, only reminding me that Emily Young had been at my house. I never answered. I didn't need to, she knew what she had done and she could have apologised every day from now until forever and I wouldn't have cared. She was dead to me. Just like how I felt inside.

It wasn't until one day my mother asked me to sit down in the kitchen with her that was my last straw. Sam and Emily sat there holding each other like they were going to slip away from each other. Like the world was going to swallow them whole if they let go. I wished it would because then they would know how I felt. The pain in my chest swelled as I watched them touch and stroke each others bare skin. My mother told me to sit down and Emily began talking. Her voice that was once like an angel to me was now ugly and scratchy like an old record on repeat. She was reciting old promises we had made to each other as girls, about how if we ever got married that we would stand beside each other and would be each other's maid of honour.

I just stared blankly at the pair who had done this to me. They had hurt me all the way to the core and here they were asking me to stand by my previous sister, and previous love of my life and watch them as they mad each other happy and vowed to love each other forever while I rotted like a lifeless piece of driftwood that scattered the beaches of LaPush. I blinked a couple of times, trying to stop my body from shaking and trembling. I got up and walked to the sink using it as leverage to make myself keep breathing. I leant down and tried to take in air but it was impossible. All of the air in my body was being pushed out and my lungs where slowly collapsing under the sheer weight of their request.

Sam immediately came up behind me and tried to pat my back, trying to give me some kind of fucked up comfort. His once familiar touch, burned me to the core. He was no longer my Sam, but Emily Young's Samuel. No sooner had he touched me, I spun around and slapped him across the face. My hand was trembling as I pulled it back to my chest and held it their. His eyes were no longer that chocolate brown that I loved. His eyes were void when he looked at me, like I had meant nothing to him. I ran from the house as fast as my legs could take me, tripping over rocks and branches, leaving them once again, calling out my name.

I hated them, I hated myself, I hated those stupid books and everyone that tried to even come near me. I hated living.

I ran all the way to the cliffs and slumped against the cool rock and screamed at the top of my lungs, expelling all the air from my body before dropping against it and sobbing. I hadn't cried in such a long time. And I still felt nothing. Nothing except hate. It was blinding me, engulfing me in a heat that I never thought possible. I glanced over the edge and knew what I had to do. I had to make them go away. All of them. I couldn't let them control me anymore. Before I could gather my thought's I heard a twig snap behind me and I whirled around.

Out of the forest stepped the most amazingly beautiful woman with fire red hair and equally red eyes approached me. As she stepped forward the instinct inside me made me shuffle back to the edge of the cliff. My body was screaming danger, but my mind did not seem to comprehend. Her voice was like butter as she spoke.

"Something the matter young Quileute?" She asked circling me like I was some kind of a woodland creature being hunted by an eagle.

I shook my head at her, watching each step she made. Her clothes where ripped and ragged but she still held some kind of a grace in her movements.

"Your sad, are you not?" She asked with a small smile as she crouched in front of me studying me closely.

I nodded again, and froze when she took a piece of my hair and placed it behind my ear. Her small fingers where ice cold, like a she had been in these woods for days. She leaned forward and smelt my hair, and I wondered if she was some kind of axe murder running around in the woods.

"I can make it go away, you know" She said sincerely as she tilted my chin to look up at her. "I can make all that pain go away my dear. All those memories, all of those people, you can forget them." My eyes widened at her words. "I can make you feel again child. Let me set you free, to be who you were really meant to be, let me show you things you would never seem possible, a world of unrestricted boundaries, where you belong to no one, where you answer to no one."

I didn't need longer than a split second to nod my head. She could give me something that I had been searching for, that I needed.

Slowly but surely she titled my face away from hers and I could feel her ice cold breath brush my cheek and seep down to my neck. When she lowered her head and sunk her teeth into my flesh I let out a whimper. Almost instantly I could feel an insatiable burn run through me. I felt like I was on fire, I was burning alive. Every nerve cell in my body felt like it was on edge. Like embers of fire where pulsing through my veins, setting my soul alive. The constant drum of my heart beat thumped in my ears as if I had my ear to my own chest. It beat with the sound of a million drums.

She lay me softly down on the ground and watched over me, softly humming and picking at the leaves on her clothing, while my body contracted and spasmed from the fire within. She smiled down at me as she watched my body arch off the soft dirt, looking like I was being shocked back to life with electric paddles EMT's had. My eyes could barely stay open as the pain surged futher through me. I noticed her lean down and softly run her hands through my hair, but it felt like she was pulling it out. The pain was unbearable as I let out a murderous shriek.

I snapped open my eyes as I withered around on the ground, noticing a deep growl coming from the wood line. I couldn't believe my eyes when Sam stepped out in just his cut-offs, followed closely by five huge wolves of assorted colors.

"Lee-Lee?" Sam gasped as I let out another shriek and felt my body involuntarily arch off the ground.

The red head woman stood beside me smirking and clapping her hands.

"Bravo! Bravo! I didn't know you had it in you dog. Such wonderful acting skills" She sing songed as she skipped behind me, to lay one hand under my neck and one under my lower back.

"Get away from her, you disgusting bloodsucker" He sneered his eyes turning black like coal. The wolves around him seem to sense his anger and huffed and puffed and clawed the dirt around him.

"It's a little too late for that dog. Soon she will be one of us!"

"No!" Sam growled is body trembling with rage.

"I didn't think you cared about anyone else except your precious imprints. I have been watching you and your mutts and you are extremely interesting. But I still don't understand why the girl means so much to you? Every time she sees you she is hurt. What did you do to her dog? Break your promises? Couldn't get it up perhaps?" The red head said amused looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't know shit leech bitch. Give her to me" He said stepping forward.

"Ah ah ah... one more step dog, just one more and she will never breath again" She said tightening her cold fingers around my neck.

"Okay okay, wait wait." Sam signaled to the wolves. "What do you want?" He asked never taking his eyes away from mine as I kicked and fought against the fire blood inside me.

"I only want what I have always wanted. _Revenge_" She smiled baring her razor sharp teeth the same that had pierced my flesh.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt a gush off wind and heard Sam screaming at the top of his lungs. When I hit the salty spray of the ocean, my body convulsed from the shock of its cool touch. I was freezing while I was burning inside. Soon the red head's arm wrapped under mine and I could see the shore slowly yet surely slip away, leaving now six large russet men standing on the cliff tops calling out my name.

~xxxxx~

But that seemed so long ago and now I even wonder if that even happened, or if I just dreamed it. Did I have a family, a mother, father and a brother? Was I ever in love with a man named Sam? Was I scorned by my own flesh and blood in the shape of one Emily Young or was it all just a dream?

~xxxxx~

"What are you doing?" Adam or Aaron or Adrian asked as I pushed his head to the side and licked at his skin.

"Shhh baby, It's only going to take a second and then you can have all of this hot bitch. As much as you can handle" I breathed, running my hands through his hair.

He nodded timidly, grabbing me and making me straddle his legs on the recliner. I eased myself down against his erection and ground my hips into his, earning an erotic moan from his lips.

I kissed him furiously, darting my tongue in and out of his mouth and taking his bottom lip between my teeth and nibbling softly making sure not to break the skin.

~xxxxx~

As I sunk my teeth into the trembling man's neck underneath me, I didn't understand if I was in heaven or hell. His blood was sweet like an indescribable honey that you could never find, but his screams sent me straight back into a hellish state of mind. Did this man have a family, a wife, children?

As I drank my last drop of his honey, I slumped to the floor, both in ecstasy and pure disgust. A long time ago I was a fairy princess in the forest who was fighting against evil monsters who were trying to destroy all the little woodland creatures in my kingdom. Now- now _I _was the monster, feeding and eating from the woodland creatures of this wide wide kingdom. Perhaps I had never been afraid of the monsters because maybe deep down inside I knew I was one too.

I think I _use _to be a good girl, but I don't know anymore. I mean - how can all this hatred, this fierce disgust, this bile, live inside me for so long. Maybe it was just hidden. Tucked safely away inside myself until I couldn't hold on to it any longer. Maybe there is just no such thing as a good girl anymore?

I can't seem to care - because finally, _finally _I am free.

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_Don't be the reason, don't be the reason_  
_You better learn how to treat us right_  
_'Cause once a good girl goes bad_  
_We die forever_

_- Rhianna_

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**AN- Just another reason to hate Sam and Emily! Oh and Victoria!**

**I don't know if I want this to be a story. Let me know what you think guys!**

**Loves!**


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